A Type-A, First-Born, Empty Nester Mom's reaction to Sorority Rush!

Sorority rush is one of the most stressful experiences for any college student, particularly at a competitive university like the University of Kentucky. It is the closest many of us mamas will get to seeing our precious daughters enter a figurative beauty pageant, where their looks are on display for all the world (most importantly, the frats) to see ... and judge. 

Not only does the face need to be perfectly made up with no blemishes, but the body tan and svelte, clothes stylish but comfortable, nails done, shoes to perfection, HAIR highlighted and either straightened or gently wanded (that means curled), and teeth whitened. And of course, one must be charming and poised, with a stellar reputation and excellent grades, and must come across as interested but not too eager. A tall order, given that almost every girl/PNM is sure to fall ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE with that one special house on the first day and want soooo badly to be a part of that sisterhood.

Shew! Let the nail biting begin...

For an entire week, this mama lived and breathed sorority rush. Even though I told my daughter a hundred times not to stress, to relax and enjoy the process, to let the Lord guide her, to not listen to what her friends thought regarding top tier, mid tier, and all of that nonsense, but to go with the house that WANTED her because of the fabulous person she is ... there was a part of me that didn't believe a single word of that diatribe! Rush is important -- really, really important --- especially to girls like my daughter who are social leaders and thrive on being around people. And so the stress (and worry?) kicked in.

I started my angst by double checking the dates in the Panhellenic brochure and confirmed the schedule for each round, then reviewed my rec list, making sure I hadn't missed an important house. In my mind, I cateloged the potential outfits that my sweetie and I shopped for prior to rush, wondering which ones she would choose for each party. I stressed over her pink nail color (was it too bright?) and how she might wear her hair, worried about the frat boys jeering at her as she sprinted from house to house, and tried not to imagine her tripping on her wedges and skinning her knee.

Would the white Bid Day dress that had been so carefully hand washed and steamed still be clean and unmussed by the time bids were issued? Ugh! Would she get the house of her dreams or would she have to settle for a sorority she didn't really like? Oh, Lord, what if she got dropped by all of the houses and wouldn't even make it to Bid Day? What if no one wanted her? More UGH!

I prayed about it, dreamt about it, scoured the Internet for clues (as if that would help!), did some stalking on social media, and even perused the dreaded greekrank.com! But as Pref Night loomed before me, the stress never abated and the waiting became unbearable. Would she call me up, sobbing, or would I get the elated text message that she was still in the hunt for her favorite houses?

Some of you many be rolling your eyes, but for those of you out there who have been through the process with your daughter, you lived this as well, even if you don't want to admit it! I know it sounds ridiculous and is slightly embarrassing and a little shameful, but there is something about sorority rush that makes us mamas revert back to the insecure school girl. My husband watched the entire process and shook his head, trying to remain supportive. It seems that every conversation we had during that week (and the weeks immediately preceding) involved sorority rush and the pros and cons of Greek life.

Fortunately, for my daughter, she did get the house of her dreams, ADPi, which was the sorority she absolutely fell in love with on day one. When she sent me this picture, I burst into tears with relief - I had no idea the amount of stress I had been under.

I want what my kids want, and I want it badly for them and will move heaven and earth to get it for them, if possible. But in this case, I couldn't go to a store and buy it or dig around on the Internet and purchase if from EBay, or even come up with my own DIY version -- I had to sit back and let the process work. And it did.

Double shew!

Now that the stressful part is over, the fun begins. Parties, tailgates, formals, sisterhood, leadership, philanthropy, and all the wonderful blessings that come from being part of a sorority where one "fits" and can make a difference.

I liken it to a baby coming through the birth canal; the process is temporary and grueling, but the end result is well worth it!

Enjoy these pics!

A.D. The BIBLE Continues

This is my last movie review with ChristianFictionOnlineMagazine.com. It was a great run (seven years!), and I am very grateful to Bonnie Calhoun, the EIC, who gave me the opportunity every month to express my opinion on what was worthy of watching, whether it be on TV, Netflix, Redbox, or the big screen.

Blessings to you all!

At the Movies - My last review ...

Happy Birthday, Rachel!!🎂🎁🎈

My 4th of July baby is 19 today! What a great day to have a birthday!

The festivities lasted all weekend, starting with a girls' day of manicures, Starbucks, and shopping. Saturday was date night with Cam, and then last night we had a great dinner at our neighborhood habachi grill, Fuji Hana, followed by gifts, cake, and a mean game of Pictionary. (Bill and I came VERY close to beating those whippersnappers!)

Today, was our favorite brunch at J Christopher in Marietta, and tonight, she is off to Athens with friends. Never a dull moment in the life of a 19-year-old college gal!

Happy 4th of July, everyone!

Concussion - Movie Review

Concussion is a must-see for any parent who has put their child through the American football program.

In my household, and in many other’s across the nation, the fall months are dedicated to Friday night high school games at the local high school and Saturday college games on the big screen TV. We all love our football. Everything, from the fabulous stadiums, to the marching bands, chili cheese dogs, peanuts, and big drinks, and of course, the cheerleaders, makes it a fun event. Team loyalties are passed down to the next generation, and for some fans, the vitriol over rivalries is comparable to gang warfare. The grand prize for any player (or parent of a player) is the dream of being one of the chosen few who go all the way to the NFL to live a life of wealth and fame, even for a short time.

But in my opinion, the greatest draw in any team sport event is the hidden metaphor for one’s spiritual walk, as well as life in general. Case in point, one of the Friday family’s favorite family films is the faith-based football movie, Facing the Giants, which does an excellent job of portraying the inner, spiritual struggle that a football game relays. Fighting against an opponent who is relentless in keeping one from achieving the prize is what makes the game worth watching. And the more daunting the opposition, the better.

Based on truth, Concussion does a nice job of destroying all of this allure of American football by showing the ugly underbelly of the sport. Will Smith is excellent as Dr. Bennett Omalu, who is a Nigerian-born forensic pathologist in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania in 2002. What would make the average person squeamish, Omalu finds fascinating beyond words. To him, cutting open a cadaver for an autopsy and extracting its organs is a communal experience with the deceased whereby the truth regarding how that person lived is allowed to emerge. Omalu performs his work like a master craftsman and is persistent and unrelenting in getting the answers he senses need to be exposed. He even goes so far as to spend his own money for additional scientific testing.

It is this doggedness for the truth that enables Omalu to discover a horrific brain disorder (CTE or Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) that seems to plague professional athletes in the high contact sports arena, particularly football. When the body of a much-beloved Pittsburgh Steelers center, Mike Webster (a great performance by David Morse), shows up on his examination table, the puzzle pieces come together. Omalu discovers that the severe brain damage associated with CTE is due to the long-term effects of repeated trauma to the head, which cause hallucinations, dementia, severe pain, unexplained bouts of rage, and suicide. With the help of the Steelers former team doctor, Julian Bailes (Alec Baldwin), and county coroner, Cyril Wecht (Albert Brooks), Omalu publishes his findings in a medical journal and waits for the reaction of the NFL.  

As expected, the powers-that-be in the big-money sports machine do not take too kindly to their beloved game being vilified by a demure, religious, quiet-spoken pathologist whose home country has no affinity for American football.  Even though they dismiss his findings, Omalu remains vigilant and discovers more NFL victims to CTE, which only bolsters his claim. Finally, the League allows his research to be presented to them at a closed-door committee meeting. But when that day arrives, Omalu is barred from the room and must rely on a third party to plead his case.

**** SPOILER ALERT ****

At this point, the film takes a turn and wanders into the area of conspiracy theory, which makes for great excitement. Omalu, who has no relation to sports other than his connection with CTE victims, soon gets a taste of the extreme opposition that is pervasive on the football field. For example, the NFL harasses him with phone calls, stalkers, and car chases that place his family in harm’s way, all of which are disgraceful tactics to silence the truth. The unfairness of it all brings out the anger in the viewer; Omalu is just a simple, yet brilliant, man who has discovered the mystery behind the horrific and early demise of so many professional athletes. Heart-broken players and their family and friends ponder over how one can sink into such a terrible state at such a young age, and their agony cries out for an explanation. Armed with the truth, Omalu aims to stand firm and not buckle under the thug-like pressure that the NFL places on him to keep quiet. This man is truly an American hero.

Vindication comes when a former player-turned NFL executive commits suicide due to CTE and endorses Omalu’s findings in his suicide note. Finally, Omalu is allowed to present his research to an NFLPA conference made up of players and their families and League executives. In a clever movie moment, we see the specter of Mike Webster (the former Pittsburgh Steeler center) in the crowd, a sign that victory has been attained. Omalu work is accepted, and he is rewarded with the prestigious offer of chief medical examiner for the District of Columbia. It is no surprise that he turned it down in order to continue his work as a pathologist.

The movie makes a final statement that is very disturbing: through Omalu’s discovery, the effects of concussions in high impact sports have permeated down to the little league football field, and still the madness for the game has not abated. The final scene relays this truth very well. As Omalu heads to work, he observes a group of young boys playing football, complete with helmets and pads. As the players run toward each other, destined to collide, the crushing sound of helmets smashing against each other makes Omalu and the viewer wonder if all of his hard work really and truly mattered.

Concussion is a great film that educates, entertains, and makes one reconsider our fascination with American football! Watch it and enjoy!  

Happy Birthday, Anna!! 🎂 🎁 🎈

Happy birthday to our dear 22 year old, Anna! We had a great day eating pancakes with Alex, lounging by the pool, opening gifts and then gorging on Italian food at Buca diBeppos. Cake and ice cream followed with a round of Pictionary where the young whippersnappers beat us parents, hands down. A great day! We are blessed to have such an awesome daughter! 

Iris

The acclaimed documentary, Iris, is a must see for all you readers out there who are clothes horses and accessory aficionados, like me. Part performance artist/fashion icon/designer and stylist, Iris Apfel is a cultural phenomenon who came to fame as an octogenarian, identified by her unique combination of short white hair, large black-rimmed glasses, and eccentric attire. She is a national treasure with adoring fans from all ages, despite being over ninety years old.

Iris became a public persona in 2005, when the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York needed a quick substitute for a cancelled event. Through word of mouth, the directors discovered Iris and decided to feature her vast collection of couture clothing and jewelry as a one-woman-show. The rest is history; the show was a sensation and catapulted her to the position of fashion royalty. Bergdorf’s featured her in their 5^th Avenue window, Filene’s had her presenting personal style makeovers, Martha Stewart hosted her on TV, and FIT (the Fashion Institute of Technology) had her teaching a highly sought after class of ambitions fashion students. In addition to the watches, jewelry, scarves, and personally designed smoking slippers sold on Home Shopping Network, even party stores sell Iris Halloween costumes for little girls. As of this publication, VOGUE magazine is featuring her latest exhibition at Le Bon Marche in Paris. It seems that the fashion world cannot get enough of Iris Apfel.

Surprisingly, this film has become one of my favorite feel-good flicks that encourages and inspires. There are two endearing themes that run through the story, the first being a classic underdog tale of a not-so-pretty girl with great style who emerged over the decades as one of the matriarchs of fashion and design. Iris tells the story of how she began her life many years ago as an interior designer for the New York elite, eventually landing a position as a White House decorator for several presidents. Over the years, her collection of furniture, clothing, jewelry, and fabrics has grown so large that numerous closets, rooms, additional apartments, and even designated storage facilities cannot contain the wonderful treasures gathered from Europe and all over the globe.

I loved watching Iris dress and put outfits together. Her clothes include designer originals, as well as shaman robes, African shepherd’s tunics, and even boy’s jeans. She accessorizes everything to the hilt, sometimes adding a million beads and five hundred bracelets (an exaggeration, of course), combining garage sale finds with couture collectibles that look fantastic together. Her most unique touch (other than the large black glasses) is layering necklaces in such a way that they appear as one seamless work of art. For the simple in style, her look will appear garish, but for someone like me, it is wonderful. For those of us who are inspired by Iris, the concept of “less is more” does not exist!

I also enjoyed watching Iris shop for hidden treasures. Her haunts include outdoor bazaars, specialty shops in Harlem, and the finest stores in New York. In addition, her witty quips and words of wisdom are more valuable than the baubles that adorn her frame; she eschews plastic surgery and has no time for “pretty.” To Iris Apfel, pretty only lasts a few years, but a unique STYLE lasts a lifetime.

The other endearing theme in the film is the great romance with her husband of over seventy years, Carl. Even as an elderly couple, they are as sweet as can be, still holding hands in the car, singing to each other, joking, and looking into each other’s eyes with affection. The beauty of their relationship is the support he gave her over the years to develop into an unusual artist. He allows her to dress him in paisley trousers, pink baseball caps, and animal print spectacles. But he doesn’t seem to mind. He adores everything about her, hangs on her every word, and watches her move about their palatial New York apartment filled with all sorts of collectibles. It touched my heart to hear him say that he always loved watching Iris take something old, plain, or discarded and turn it into something beautiful. I believe every serious artist (including writers) needs a Carl in their lives. Sadly, he passed away in 2015, but at the ripe ole age of over a hundred years old!

Iris Apfel is a true inspiration for any artist endeavoring to push the boundaries of what is considered acceptable by the gatekeepers of the creative realm in which that artist operates. For a Christian writer, like me, her story encourages me to write what the Holy Spirit inspires without sacrificing character or plot to fit a plethora of man-made rules. The same would be true for any other creative person who feels constrained by what the world says is valuable.

Let Iris’s wonderful journey be a lesson to us all to be ourselves, pursue truth and excellence, and to never give up! It is never too late for those with a vision in their mind and a dream in their heart to see it manifested in all of its glory!

GRADUATION UGA 2016!

Our oldest graduated from UGA with two BAs - one in History and the other in International Affairs. We are very proud! She has worked so hard, and the hard work has paid off!

Ryan Seacrest delivered a nice speech, peppered with humor and wisdom. A great display of fireworks in Sanford stadium ended the spectacle, which was an appropriate finale to one's tenure at this fine institution.

Earlier in the day, we attended a reception for History majors and heard a great speech from John Parker, SVP & GC of Coke (who happens to be a History major from UGA!) He gave some encouraging words on the benefits of liberal arts degrees, all of which form a solid foundation in any life endeavor. I was very grateful to hear his pearls of wisdom gleaned over an unusual but illustrious - and very successful - career.

Lastly, we munched all day on sausage breakfast casserole, cheese-n-crackers, fruit, chips-n-dip,  BBQ 1's pork and chicken (yum) with sauce, slaw, homemade mac-n-cheese, beans, and delicious cupcakes from Sam's.

An exhausting day but so much fun! We missed having Rachel there, but she was with us in spirit while studying in Cape Town! Uncle Walt and Aunt Renee made it from Concord and grandparents from NC as well.

Again, we are so proud of our daughter and look forward to the wonderful things the Lord has in store for her!

Psalms 1:3  And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.